Architecture, free samples, and a crazy guy.

Are you ready for a doozy of a date? This was one of the most bizarre date experiences I have ever had. Get ready for some awesomeness. (stick with me... this story is a bit long, but it is worth it!)

Once upon a time, I went with my BFF Marianne to a birthday party for one of our friends. A good time was had by all--- food, laughing, Just Dance, etc. The next Tuesday at Institute, we were chatting to our friend and he mentioned that one of his friends, who was also at the party, wanted to take me out on a date. To be honest, I didn't remember him from the party, but after looking at some pictures on Facebook, I decided that it was worth a shot.

Our first date was pretty fun. We doubled with Marianne and our friend. The boys planned a themed date--- we made nachos and watched Nacho Libre (still don't understand why that movie had gained so much popularity). The date was fun. We all had a good time, and my date seemed totally normal. So, when the question of a second date was asked, I agreed. Oh boy. I should've called it good at one.

He picked me up at 9 am and we headed to Park City. He told me that he didn't know what we were going to do up there, but that we could probably just walk Main Street and get lunch or something. As we drove up the canyon, he began to read every. single. road sign to me. And then proceed to try to figure out why the town of Mayflower is called Mayflower. We passed several construction workers, and as we did so, he would wave to them and talk to them (even though we were in our car and there was no way they were going to hear him). He did this in a voice that resembled that of a five year old. Most comments were along the lines of, "Hiiiiiii construction man!" or something like that.

We continued our drive, with the sun beating down on me, and him refusing to turn on the air conditioning. It was the end of June, so temperatures were anything but cool. We got to Main Street and parked. He insisted on putting sunscreen on (even though he had already applied some before we left Orem), so I waited patiently while he did so. He offered some to me, but I declined. He then proceeded to rant about his theory on the conspiracies about sunscreen:

Him: You know, they say sunscreen expires after a year, and that it looses its efficacy as time goes on. I think the dermatologists and the sunscreen companies are conspiring against consumers so we have to buy more sunscreen.
Me: I actually used to work for a dermatologist, and sunscreen really does expire and really does become less effective over time. I don't think they are in cahoots to scam customers.
Awkward pause.
Him: Well, then the sunscreen companies are in with the school teachers to convince people to buy more sunscreen.

WHAT?!? What does he even mean by that? I didn't even know what to say to that comment. I was totally confused.

We started our journey up Main Street and ended up at the family history library. They have a large fake tree in the room, and since my date was a landscape guy, he felt the need to engage in a rather long conversation with the sister missionary about the tree, what kind it was, etc. Keep in mind that it was fake. Not real. Not alive. Eventually, we wandered over to the computers and looked up a few names, and the elder missionary came out. Leave it to the older folks to create really awkward situations.

Missionary: So, what do we have here? A first date? Second? ... or is this a little bit more!?
My date kept his mouth shut. He left me to answer.
Me: Haha. This is a second date.
Missionary: Well how exciting! When it becomes a little more, you can remember your date to the family history library!

Thankfully, another couple walked in shortly after that, so we quietly left and continued our journey. There was a foot bridge he was really interested in seeing, so we had to hike all over the town to find it. Eventually we did. He looked at it, commented that it was neat, and we turned around and left.

After eating lunch, we headed back to the car. He asked if I minded if we went to the outlets while we were up there. Thinking that he had a specific item he was looking for, I agreed. Turns out, he just wanted to investigate the architecture of the buildings. Huh? Have you seen the outlets? They all look the same. There is nothing spectacular about them (maybe to an architect they really are interesting, but to me, not so much). Here's where it gets really fun. I'll just relay the conversations that happened:

As we were driving, we hit a speed bump... rather quickly, I might add, as he didn't see it. He yelled, "Why didn't you warn me about that?!?!" (I should mention that he wasn't talking to me, but to the road.)

We went into Old Navy, and entered through the north doors. He looked at a shirt, decided that at $5 it was too expensive and would probably shrink anyway, put it down, and we turned to leave. We were near the south doors by this time, so it seemed natural that we leave that way. He stopped in his tracks, looked at me with a rather worried and serious look and said, "Umm, do you think it's okay that we go out the doors we didn't come in through?" To which I replied, "I'm sure it's fine. Either way, we will end up where we need to be."

Our final stop was the Harry and David store because they have a chocolate covered blueberry that he really likes. I figured he wanted to buy some. Wrong. We wandered the store for a few minutes, with him trying every sample that was available, before a worker approached us.
Worker: Can I help you guys with anything?
Him: Yeah. You guys have those really good chocolate covered blueberries. Do you have any out to sample today?
Worker: We don't today.
Him: Oh. Okay.
Worker: Would you like me to go in the back and open you a package so you can have some?
Him: Yeah! That would be great! Thanks!
(Now, the polite thing to do would have been to nicely decline and thank her for her kind offer. But, no, he made her go into the back and open a package of blueberries just for him. I know she offered, but still... seems a little odd to me.)

After he ate his few blueberries, he sampled a few more things, and we walked out. He never had the intention of buying anything! He just wanted the free samples! I mean, I'm all for free things, but I'm also not one to just waltz in, sample everything in sight, then leave. It was pretty awkward to have all the workers watching you as your date takes all the free stuff and then just walks away.

Anyway, we finally headed home--- again, sans air conditioning--- and I was sooooo glad my five hour date was coming to an end.

Luckily, when he called a few days later to ask me out on a third date, my schedule was already full on every day he was asking me to go. He apparently didn't like that, so he kept trying to talk me out of my commitments. He finally gave up the fight and let me hang up. I found out later that he had told his friend that he thought I was making up excuses because I didn't like him. I also realized that his friend was just as crazy as he was (it involved him thinking that after his one date with Marianne, he assumed they were dating, and was rather distraught that they weren't... Hopefully we can get Marianne to send in her side of the crazy duo of boys). Turns out two crazy boys make a lovely pair of friends.

Just not one that I want to be a part of.